Reclaiming Your Power and Embracing a New Chapter: Tips for Getting Over Someone

Are you feeling weighed down by the end of a relationship and struggling to move on? Whether it is a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a work connection, getting over someone can be challenging. But the good news is that reclaiming your power and embracing a new chapter is possible. In this article, we will provide you with valuable tips and strategies to help you navigate this difficult process.

Firstly, it's essential to give yourself permission to grieve. Allow your emotions to surface and be kind to yourself during this time of healing. Additionally, focusing on self-care is crucial in the journey of moving on. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, practicing mindfulness, and taking care of your physical health are all important steps in reclaiming your power.

Furthermore, embracing change and creating a new chapter for yourself can be empowering. Explore new hobbies or passions, set goals for personal growth, and surround yourself with a supportive community. By doing so, you can rebuild your confidence and create a fulfilling life beyond the person you're trying to get over.

In this article, we will delve deeper into these tips and provide you with additional guidance to help you navigate this transitional period. Let's begin the journey of reclaiming your power and embracing a new chapter.

The importance of reclaiming your power when getting over someone

Reclaiming your power in the process of getting over someone is often a very individual process. It is important to understand the roots of your emotional pain and to see that in relationships old pain is often activated into new life situations. Your early relationships (say you are in your 20s/30s) is often an activation of old pain. When we say old pain we are referring to your earliest trauma/pain points before you are 10 years old. These early pain points are an active ingredient in all human beings but most often overlooked in our present situations. Our first emotional connections are often an affirmation of something left in you to heal. 

We tell the story that this person was the ONE or we put all this power on this person to be the ONE, the savior, the reason we had joy and no joy is gone. This is often a false story. The pain we experience in our first breakups feel so harsh, so at the surface and often heightened. The reason for this is that we hope that this relationship would have taken away the pain from the past. This pain was buried in our subconscious and not often part of our current life situation moment that is breaking our hearts. Reclaiming your power is to first recognize that this person never had the ability to give you joy or take it away. They can enjoy in your mutually loving life but they do not hold any power over your inner state.

Our inner storytelling and the “truth” we believe about the person is why we feel powerless when relationships end. We gave them the power to decide how we feel inside and in doing so, we forfeited our power. The first step is to see this person for what they are. Just a person. A person with equal issues, pain and inner turmoil to go deal with on their own singular journey. Your inner pain is now yours to heal. And yes you can heal it and reclaim your power.

Understanding the stages of getting over someone

When we go through a breakup or the end of a significant connection, it's easy to feel powerless and lost. However, reclaiming your power is vital for your emotional well-being and personal growth. It's crucial to remember that you have control over how you respond to the situation and how you shape your future.

One way to reclaim your power is by reframing the breakup as an opportunity for growth. Instead of dwelling on the pain and loss, focus on the lessons learned and the chance to create a better life for yourself. By shifting your mindset, you can regain a sense of control and purpose.

Another important aspect of reclaiming your power is taking responsibility for your own happiness. Relying on someone else for your emotional well-being can be detrimental to your sense of self. Embrace the fact that you are in charge of your own happiness and take proactive steps towards creating a fulfilling life.

Additionally, setting boundaries is crucial in reclaiming your power. Establish clear boundaries with the person you're trying to get over, as well as with yourself. This will help you maintain your emotional well-being and prevent any potential relapses.

Remember, reclaiming your power is a process that takes time and self-reflection. Be patient with yourself and celebrate every small step forward.

Accepting and acknowledging your emotions

Getting over someone is not a linear process. It often involves various stages of emotions and experiences. Understanding these stages can help you navigate the journey with more clarity and self-compassion.

The first stage is denial and shock. It's common to initially deny the reality of the situation and feel shocked by the end of the connection. Allow yourself to process these emotions and acknowledge the pain.

The next stage is anger and resentment. You may feel a range of emotions, including anger towards the person who hurt you or resentment towards yourself. It's important to express these emotions in healthy ways, such as through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking professional help if needed.

After anger, comes bargaining. This is when you may find yourself bargaining with the universe or the person you're trying to get over. You may have thoughts like, "If only I had done things differently, maybe we could still be together." Recognize that bargaining is a natural part of the process, but ultimately, it's important to accept the reality and let go.

The next stage is sadness and grief. This is when the full weight of the loss hits you, and you may experience intense sadness and longing. Allow yourself to grieve and honor the emotions that come up. Seek support from loved ones or consider joining a support group to help you through this stage.

Finally, acceptance and moving on. This is when you start to accept the reality of the situation and focus on building a new chapter for yourself. It's important to be patient with yourself during this stage, as it takes time to fully heal and embrace a new beginning.

Forgiveness is the 6 step of grieving not discussed but a critical piece. At AH-HA Healing we recommend a forgiveness exercise where we see the person and we ask the following:

1. What gift did I receive in being in relationship with this person?

2. What have I left with the person (maybe your sense of self) that piece that I need to call back to me? We all leave a piece of ourselves with someone along the way. Forgiveness is the process that we bring that piece back to us. In by asking and receiving the gift and asking for the piece to return, you can complete the process of healing. 

Remember that these stages are not fixed or linear. You may experience them in different orders or revisit certain stages multiple times. The key is to be gentle with yourself and trust the process.

Letting go of the past

One of the most important steps in getting over someone is accepting and acknowledging your emotions. It's natural to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment.

Start by creating a safe space for yourself to process your emotions. This can be through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. Expressing your emotions is a healthy way to release any pent-up feelings and gain clarity. There is a period of time we call the “story purge” you need to say all the story about this person. Barf it out so to speak. It will allow you to just say it and say it until you really don’t want to talk about it anymore. Once you have this feeling it is time to move inward. Shift from talk therapy to the inner walk. To get to know the real you. 

Additionally, practicing self-compassion is crucial during this time. Be kind to yourself and remind yourself that it's okay to feel the way you do. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding you would offer a close friend going through a similar situation. We must also recognize that the injury you feel in this present moment can also be an old pain activation. To understand this, please watch this video around empathy and delay gratification. It is crucial to understand that early emotional pain injured this important human mechanisms so it is only natural in some cases that you want to get rid of these emotions through instant gratification and that you struggle to feel genuine empathy for your losses. 

Remember that healing takes time, and there is no set timeline for getting over someone. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up and trust that, in time, they will begin to fade.

Rediscovering yourself and your passions

Letting go of the past is a vital step in reclaiming your power and moving forward. Holding onto the memories, the what-ifs, and the regrets will only hinder your progress. It's important to make peace with the past and let go of any attachments to the person you're trying to get over.

Start by acknowledging that the past cannot be changed. Accept that what happened has happened and that you have the power to create a better future for yourself.

Additionally, practice forgiveness. This doesn't mean condoning or forgetting what happened, but rather releasing any resentment or anger you may be holding onto. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, allowing you to move forward with a lighter heart.

Letting go also involves detaching from any reminders of the person you're trying to get over. This may include removing their photos, unfollowing them on social media, or even changing your environment if necessary. Create a space that feels supportive and nurturing to your healing process. A 30 day human detox from this person is necessary for some of the habitual story and addictive storytelling around this person to release. By completing a full 30 days with zero contact or interactions are necessary. It is the most empathic gift we can give ourselves in heartbreak.

Remember, letting go is a process, and it may not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and celebrate every small step forward.

Building a support system

After a breakup or the end of a significant connection, it's common to feel lost and disconnected from yourself. This is the perfect opportunity to rediscover who you are and what brings you joy.

Start by exploring new hobbies or passions. Is there something you've always wanted to try but never had the chance? Now is the time to dive in and explore. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment will not only distract you from the pain but also help you reconnect with your true self.

Additionally, set goals for personal growth. This can be anything from learning a new skill to traveling to a destination you've always wanted to visit. Setting goals will give you a sense of purpose and direction as you navigate this new chapter in your life.

Take this time to focus on self-improvement and self-discovery. Journal, meditate, or seek guidance from a therapist to gain clarity on your values, beliefs, and aspirations. Embrace this opportunity to become the best version of yourself.

Practicing self-care and self-love

Having a strong support system is crucial when getting over someone. Surrounding yourself with loved ones who understand and support you will provide the encouragement and guidance you need during this challenging time.

Reach out to friends and family who you trust and feel comfortable opening up to. Share your feelings and experiences with them, and allow them to offer their support and perspective. Sometimes, simply talking about your emotions can provide immense relief.

Quieting the world around you during this healing time is the most imperative self-care move. We think we need to be busy and not feel these feelings. This is completely inaccurate. By feeling you feelings now, going through the process of grieving and letting the feelings just to be, you can heal and release them. 

Remember, you don't have to go through this journey alone but be aware that sometimes humans can hinder your own inner journey so find a balance between the two. Building a support system will provide you with the strength and encouragement you need to reclaim your power and embrace a new chapter.

Setting boundaries and focusing on your own growth

Practicing self-care and self-love is crucial in the journey of getting over someone. It's important to prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional well-being during this time of healing.

Start by engaging in activities that bring you joy and make you feel good. This can be as simple as taking a long walk in nature, indulging in a hot bath, or treating yourself to a favorite meal. By engaging in activities that bring you pleasure, you are sending a message to yourself that you deserve love and care.

Practicing mindfulness and meditation can also be beneficial during this time. These techniques can help you stay present and centered, allowing you to let go of any negative thoughts or emotions that arise. Consider incorporating a daily mindfulness practice into your routine to support your healing process.

Taking care of your physical health is equally important. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Physical health is closely connected to emotional well-being, and by taking care of your body, you are also taking care of your mind.

The four quadrants of health are critical during this time of healing. Breakups allow us the opportunity to reevaluate our quadrant living. Boundaries are necessary as you take the time to tend to your own inner emotions and pain. This is your time. Protect your space and allow grace to come over you. 

Moving forward and embracing new opportunities

Setting boundaries is crucial when getting over someone. Establish clear boundaries with the person you're trying to get over, as well as with yourself. This will help you maintain your emotional well-being and prevent any potential relapses.

Communicate your boundaries assertively and respectfully. Let the person know what you need and what you are no longer willing to tolerate. Be firm in your boundaries, and don't be afraid to enforce them if they are crossed.

In addition to setting boundaries with others, it's important to set boundaries with yourself. This may involve refraining from contacting the person, avoiding places or situations that trigger painful memories, or limiting your exposure to reminders of the past.

Focus on your own growth and personal development during this time. Set goals for yourself, both short-term and long-term, and work towards achieving them. By investing in your own growth, you are reclaiming your power and creating a fulfilling life beyond the person you're trying to get over.

Boundaries are uncomfortable for many codependents living around you and relationships are often the hotbed for codependent activations. So be prepared if others reject your boundaries. Stay the course. You care about you right now. Boundaries is a form of self-love and care. 

Conclusion: Embracing a new chapter in your life

As you continue to navigate the process of getting over someone, remember to keep moving forward and embrace new opportunities that come your way. It's easy to get stuck in the past or dwell on what could have been, but by doing so, you are limiting your potential for growth and happiness.

Be open to new experiences, new connections, and new possibilities. Say yes to opportunities that align with your values and bring you joy. Explore different avenues and take risks. Embracing change and stepping outside of your comfort zone will help you create a new chapter that is even more fulfilling than before.

Remember, the end of a connection does not define your worth or your future. It's merely a stepping stone towards a greater version of yourself. Trust the process, have faith in your resilience, and know that you have the power to create a life that is filled with love, joy, and purpose.